We’re an international organisation charged with handling the development of one of the world’s favourite sports. It is imperative we do what is best by our members and the billions of people who laud our sport.
What?! One man has shown his boxers?! They were sponsored?! Quick, we must throw the book at him! Let’s fine him… oh I don’t know… €100,000. Yes. That’ll teach the hellion.
Huh? Multiple members of the crowd have been racist? Not this crap again. Why do the press insist on making us take action? We’re about football, not politics, how many times must we repeat this? We might as well fine them, too. What can a bit more cash hurt? Hmm, €80,000 could boost the corruption fund nicely. Let’s go with that.
Well done UEFA. If there were any doubt about your ability to reach logical conclusions then you’ve shut the door, quite firmly, on those suspicions. You truly are odious, half-witted idiots.