Here’s how this is going to work: We’re all going to pretend today’s Monday. Ok? Great.
Over this weekend I suffered a torrid time thanks to addiction so I’ll appreciate all and any slack that can be cut. I know it’s customary for someone to enter a long and arduous tale regarding their addiction but I’m too lazy for that. Plus, I fear that telling everyone I watched an entire 12-episode season of a TV show over two and a bit days might see any sympathy withdrawn.
Incidentally, there’s a TV show called Suits that’s thoroughly great viewing if anyone’s interested. You can find the synopsis on Wikipedia, you lazy bunch.
I’ll give you that one free. Onward:
- E.T.’s real name is Zrek. I’ve never seen E.T., or at least not while old enough to remember it, so this didn’t blow my mind. However, I told some E.T. fans and it blew theirs so I thought I’d share. As it transpires, a sequel to the hit movie was planned and in that sequel E.T.’s name was revealed as Zrek. Did I just refer to something as a “hit movie”? Addiction really is a path to nowhere, kids.
- A way to keep jewelry untangled. I freaking love life hacks. The amount of small, insignificant changes I’ve made over the years that save me immeasurably large amounts of time is tear-jerkingly awesome. In fact, I’ll offer one up for free right now: Use empty toilet rolls to wrap up cables. Last week someone took that idea and expanded upon it by implementing it on a smaller scale. That’s right, they extended an idea by minimising it. He’s a clever son of a gun, I’ll grant him that. Take a necklace, for example, and make sure the two ends aren’t latched together. Thread one end through a straw and then close the necklace. The straw will keep one side of the necklace fairly rigid, preventing it from getting tangled up. Both ideas are delightfully cheap to implement and sort out problems that most people have. Life hacks, ladies and gentlemen.
- Death is illegal in Falciano del Massico, Italy. For fear of being much too helpful today, I thought I’d chuck this one in. Last week news broke that it was illegal to die in a small village in Italy. From what I’ve gathered, there’s a despute with the village that owns the local cemetery and the law was only issued in jest. The mayor was also reported to have said that two elderly people have disobeyed the law. That strikes me as a bit insensitive but Italy, hey? One thing that I can’t quite grasp is how death can be outlawed in a jokey way after Silvio Berlusconi’s tenure. I’m sure that, between parties that put Charlie Sheen to shame, Berlusconi’s probably a bit upset that he’s not Supreme Overlord of Italy anymore — that was his title, right? To issue this law after he’s gone is a bit like kicking him when he’s down. That said, what more can you expect from a country shaped like a boot?
That, ladies and gentlemen, is your lot. Three things both learnt and passed on alongside a bonus TV recommendation and a free life hack. Have a great end to your Monday and enjoy the rest of the week!